Goodbye and Good Luck
72
When your children leave your nest
This has got to be the hardest thing I have ever written. I can hardly see the keyboard as the tears stream down my cheeks and drip onto my t-shirt, leaving a pattern like raindrops. It was your graduation dinner on Friday night, but what it actually means has only hit me today. The time is fast approaching for me to say, "Goodbye and Good Luck." I don't know if I am going to be able to do it. I don't know if I am going to be able to let go. This is worse than the ending of a relationship or a marriage. It is time for you to leave my nest.
I have so many memories, my brain is not big enough to store them all. Most of the memories are good ones, that's what makes it so hard to say goodbye and good luck.
I remember the day you were born, as you escaped from my womb and entered the world, you had an erection and peed all over your father, the doctor and the midwives.
I remember that you were so tall the newborn babygros in the maternity ward could not fit you.
I remember that when you were circumsized on the 8th day, your liver could not cope with the medication and you slept for 3 days and we had to force-feed you while you slept.
I remember that you took your first steps at your first birthday party, so that you could get to another table to get more chips.
I remember the fevers and the allergy to penicillin.
I remember that the workers on the farm called you Mpundus because you always climbed under the ladies' skirts and pinched their bums.
I remember the tree houses you built and how you used to wee in my potplants in the house.
I remember how you always managed to get more food on your face and on your clothes than in your mouth.
I remember you falling on the cactus plant and everything going septic.
I remember when I tried to teach you manners and I asked, "What is the magic word?" and you replied, "Abracadabra."
I remember when you picked up a rat dying from rat poison and said you'd found Mickey Mouse, and then it bit you.
I remember when I was your kindergarten teacher, and you hid under the table and asked another kid in your class to play, Jesus Jesus, with you. I stopped what I was doing as I was intrigued as to how one played, Jesus Jesus. then you said to the boy, "So Nigel, do you want to bless the people or do you want to die on the cross?" I quickly ended the game.
I remember your huge appetite for food and love. It hasn't lessened over the years.
I remember watching you play sport, and aching myself, ever time you went down in a tackle.
I remember comforting you when you were down and holding you the nights when you were scared and had nightmares.
I remember how you were almost one of my best supporters in everything I did.
I remember you always finishing the last of the juice in the fridge without any thought that someone else might like some.
I remember your first day at work when you were 14 and pretending to be 18, and teaching English at a Thai school.
I remember that every pair of jeans you owned had holes in the knees.
I remember how you scared away all my boyfriends as you didn't want to share me with another man.
I remember how you fell through the window at school and landed on your girlfriend and broke her nose.
I remember how when your science teacher jokingly said it was cocaine sniff it, you sniffed citric acid and burnt your nasal membranes.
I remember the scars you got from the time when you tried all the Jackass stunts with your friends and wanted to be a stuntman.
I can remember Sunday mornings when you'd jump on my bed and we'd play WWF Wrestling as you wanted to become a professional wrestler.
I remember the times you got into trouble at school and I got called in.
I remember the little boy with white-blonde hair and huge curls that was so hyperactive and got into everything.
I remember the first time you felt you had to shave even though there was nothing visible there.
I remember your impersonations of lady boys offereing their services and Arab carpet sellers, which would have me laughing so much I cried.
I remember when you told me what you were up to with the 26 year old Korean woman when you were only 14.
I remember how you annoyed the hell out of your sisters.
I remember how you taught Oscar the black labrador, how to play rugby.
I remember when you thought it would be cool to get your hair braided in Thailand.
I remember your kindness and caring you show to everybody, except maybe your sisters.
I remember that when that lady boy tried to kiss you in Thailand, you went straight to the hairdresser and had your hair cut short.
I remember your frustration every time we go on holiday and you have to carry all the heavy bags like a pack horse, how can with travel without you?
But what I remember the most, is how you always seem to bounce around the house like a huge puppy dog, making me laugh when I'm down, your random and often inappropriate comments which are so funny, and how you've bought joy and laughter into my life. How am I going to live without that?
I know that the future beckons and soon you'll start at the Hotel School and forget about your life with me. You are anxious to get going, even though you still can't cook or make a sandwich and will rather go hungry than make something for yourself to eat. It breaks my heart to do this, to cut you loose and watch you fly off somewhere to build your own nest.
Goodbye and good luck my little boy. I love you so much.
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What a difficult thing, Cindy. Still, this is the way things must be, which doesn't make it any easier. Good luck!
Thanks TM and Christoph, am not having a good day, it's just suddenly hit me that he's off soon. Oh well, I guess life goes on, eh? I just wish we could prepare better for this moment when it comes. What makes it all worse is when I leave China, I say goodbye to my eldest daughter as well.
That is so great!! He looks absolutely delightful!
dori
Dori, he is a little on the wicked side! makes you laugh so gets away with murder!
Oh Cindy - that was so touching. How quickly they grow up - one day you're cuddling them in your lap and it seems like just a little while later, you're looking up at them and it's time for them to go. Letting go must be one of the hardest things to do for any mother - my turn next year and I'm not looking forward to it!
Shalini, I think we need to get some special online courses on how to do it and cope through it.
What a sweet hub. You are such a proud mother! I wish him luck in his future endeavors :)
This is such a lovely hub. I seriously laughed out loud at the "Jesus, Jesus" game. You have a lot of touching memories and you'll have a million more to add to them.
AV, I am a proud mom, you're right, and still have one more left at home. She's only turning 14, so I still have some time with her.
Futon fraggle, my son has always been able to give me a memory and make me laugh. I have been blessed with all my kids.
You know, Cindy, in the Philippines, children don't leave "the nest" after graduation. In most cases, children are expected to stay with their parents until they get married (for women) or until the parents pass away (for men). Maybe if you moved here, you could keep your son with you... Hehe. :D
That sounds like a plan Susan, but he needs to study so he can get a good job and then take care of me when I'm old!
If you moved to Cebu (where Ripplemaker and I are from) or Manila (where Cris A. is from), good schools wouldn't be far away. Your son could live with you and commute to school every day. Hehe. :D
Well, I though I could make it through your hub without crying. Boy, was I wrong. I was reading outloud to my 16 yr old daughter, which may have made it more difficult now that I think about it. I could not even read the last sentence. Thanks for sharing all the memories. I know it must be incredibly tough!
Have they got hotel schools there as well?
KCC, it is not easy I have to say. Now I have to go and check why it is 1.22pm and he is still sleeping!
You mean boarding schools? I think there are a few. But I've never known anybody who went to one. :O People from the provinces come to the cities to study in good schools, and most of them stay in boarding houses or dormitories near the school. But those who live in the city just live at home. :) I guess it's a cultural thing. :)
No not a boarding school, a hotel school is like a university where you study hotel management
HP hates me...keeps making me leave blank messages! :(
That was so sweet Cindy. I'm sure he'll do you proud...and surprise you with a fabulous meal he has cooked one of these days! :)
Oh, yeah. The major colleges and universities offer the course HRM (Hotel and Restaurant Management). :)
You're the only one I know who leaves blank comments, Feline Prophet. What did you do to irk Hubpages so much? Hehe. :P
Fine looking young man! Nice hub about him. We have told our oldest son about 14 times,"Goodbye and good luck!" My wife, Tammy said the other day,"I think our kids like us too much!" :)
Cindy, he's not going to forget all about his life with you! It's too full! What outstanding memories!!! I read it hoping that I will have such good ones one day, too. (Although I already have the peeing in places he really shouldn't.) That picture up there of him sitting on the cannon was hilarious, and goes right along with your sense of humor. What a beautiful boy you have. You have a right to be that proud mom, and your pain at his leaving is a testament to the love you have for him.
Thank you for sharing all those memories with us.
Nothing compares to a mother's heart and a mother's love. No matter where he goes, he will never forget your love (and I am sure you know that already). He is such a handsome young man! He will do very well in the world out there and make you more and more proud of him! Plus, did he read this wonderful hub of yours? :)
Shoot, this made me cry! What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful son. You did good!
FP, and here I thought you were so overwhelmed with my hub that you were at a loss for words lol! Well, I have to buy him a set of knives for his course, so I am hoping that that means they'll be teaching him how to use them - for cooking of course!
Susan, we should have considered the Philippines, unfortunately he's already enrolled and deposits paid.
Tom, lol yeah, but my boy will be living in a different country to me, so not easy to hop in a car and dive home!
LM, sadly my son has inherited my exact sense of humour. Hence the canon pic.
Nazish, I sent him the link on Facebook, but not sure if he's read it yet. He's upstairs waiting for me to cook him lunch as he's hungry.
Thanks Jama! This is so hard, especially when it hits you so suddenly as it did this morning!
Aw, that's too bad. Hehe. :D
There's nothing sad about it, Cindy. You have a wonderful sense of humor that keeps us all entertained and in stiches. He's blessed to have inherited it!!!!
lol LM, he still has to learn when you can use it and when you have to hide it!
Say "lol LM" 10 times real fast....
hahahha, okay, now you made me laugh and I feel better so can go downstairs and conjure up some lunch and must make some sausages as well!
I feel an inappropriate comment would fit well here, but considering the serious tone to this hub, I'll refrain. Enjoy your lunch and sausages.
LM, maybe I'll take some pics of the sausage-making process!
Porn isn't really my thing. LOL!
LMAO no am dinkum serious, not porn, I make my own sausages lol
Cindy- I laughed and I cried. The stories are so sweet and I couldn't help but think of my own boys growing so fast that will be going off on their own far sooner than I will want them too. You are such a good mom and have raised beautiful, intelligent children. Hang in there, CV :) *HUG*
I'm sure you do, cindy. I'm sure you make them very...okay, I said I would forgo the inappropriate comment.
Goodnight. I think I've hit a new low. I'm going to go to bed and try to forget what I was thinking.
lol LM, have my camera ready to take pics of the sausage-making process.
Janetta, my son has just read the hub and wants to send the link to all his friends!
He is a good son!! You should be proud (which I know you are :)
Yeah lol, he has his moments!
cindy
this is a heartbreaker - but in a good way. it's nice to know that there so many many things you remember about your son. It will definitely keep you company until he comes back home. As all children do, eventually. Thanks for sharing. Want a panda hug? :D
Definitely need a panda hug, Cris!
Aww Cindy, god it must be harder than anything I can imagine. He looks like a terrific kid, you done really good. Damn I got a few tears trickling down my cheek as well, I hate saying goodbye to anything I love, so yeah, that must be damn hard.
Gee you have good looking kids too....
He'll keep coming back (and not just for money!)
Thanks Blonde, he's already broken the odd few hearts already!
Praglider, I suppose when he has kids one day I'll be needed to babysit lol
Paraglider said it right, he'll be back. hang in there Cin, he's nt going away fore-ever...
I hope not MAD, he is very entertaining!
AWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Ahh, Cindy, what a great kid you raised!
Thanks teresa, he is a good boy, even though he passed out drunk after his graduation party!
Well, now you made me cry. Made me remember when my son flew the coop and moved to Hong Kong, some 20,000 miles away. I cried for three days. Still, we raise them to be men who will make us proud. Thanks to the Internet we can talk and share our lives in ways we probably wouldn't if they were closer by and not take what time we spend together for granted.
Had to laugh at the lady boy incidents. My farm boy of a husband could relate, as one kissed him square on the mouth in Bangkok and he nearly rubbed the skin off his lips trying to get uncontaminated. I think it was because until that kiss he had no clue it wasn't a woman by his definition.
lol Jerilee! Yes, some of those lady boys look more female than the women! I plan to make the most of our last month together!
WOW. Made me remember all the little things with my son.. I am dwarfed by him, too! Until he was 6 all my jeans had holes in the knees, too, playing for hours with him on the floor. You know you've done well when they want to fly..that's our main job, teach them well and give them wings! You have beautiful kids! Hugs and more Hugs!
Great hub Cindy. When I dropped my son off at college, I left him standing on the steps of his dorm and I cried all the way home, which was about nine hours. It was like cutting the cord all over again. I think only moms can really understand the feeling.
Cindy - phew! That got me. I have two of my kids in the UK, one here. They are all old enough to make their own decisions but if they weren't ...
I can't tell you how many times I've choked up over a 'phone call, an email. A letter, small gift, a text ... and when I pop over there, the leaving wipes me out everytime.
You need a steel rod in your back as a mother. So many wonderful moments. And sometimes, tough ones.
What a good mummy you are Cindy :)
There is one thing Cindy, you raised them to have the confidence to go it alone, some are unable - you are a credit to your kids.
Candie, my son decided two years ago that he wants to go into hotel management and has been very focused since he knew what he wanted to do with hius life
Bhowel, I know I'm going to cry when I drop him off and when I say goodbye to my eldest daughter who'll be staying in china
Froggy, you are lucky that you have them still relatively close to you just across the ditch.
Hawkesdream, thanks for the kind words.
Focus is a gift few of us have at that age! If he lands in an exotic locale email me and we'll meet for drinks on the veranda! Hugs my friend!
Thanks Candie, his dream is to one day manage a game lodge somewhere in Africa!
Wow that was really sweet, and I almost feel the tears coming on. Something about graduations and dog stories that always does that for me.
Thanks SweetiePie. I feel much better today!
Hmm, it's all been said so well - I can only add - one good looking young man!!!!! At least that's what my daughters think!
(Down!, Back! My Computer!!!!)
lol Nanny, he's just broken up with his girlfriend so he's available!
Cindy you will love it when they are all gone. Trust me on this. Now quit the dam cryin and shove him off and live girl. good lookin kid
lol CC, maybe I will. Hope yer doing okay!
I can relate to everything you wrote, Cindy (especially about chasing away my boy-friends, haha). We had a really tight bond with my son (who is 21 now), we still have this bond. When you invest all your time into raising your children, it will pay back to you some day. You will never loose your kids, don't worry. My son is away and he is pretty much independent, but he still calls me all the time and we need each other for support and advice.
"you had an erection and peed all over your father"
hahahaha..oh god, Tilt just came from my nose. ;)
"so that you could get to another table to get more chips."
There's a good boy!
This is honestly one of the most tear jerking hubs I've yet to read. Thanks for sharing with us your boy cindy, he's a handsome man. And I'm sure he'll be trying to hide this hub from all his girlfriends. ;)
ReuVera, I hope my kids don't forget about me! I'd hate to be living all alone in a single room flat piled high with memories that I can't understand as I have dementia! My biggest fear!
Ixxy, I showed my son this hub and he gave his secret smile and said, "Now I have to send this link to all my friends!"
Haha, you're an excellent mother--you've taught him humility. ;)
Your son is so much like u xoxo
Yeah Blonde, but he is naughty with the girls!
mothers and sons, i love my two sons, and embarras them all time with lines like yours. Absolutely loved this hub
Miss Take, have just fetched my son from the airport, he's come for a visit!
Triplet Mom Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago
Wow...that made me tear up too. Cindy you gave him roots to grow and wings to fly. I can only imagine how this times feels, I am not certain I will be able to handle it but what you wrote is so wonderful, what great memories.