How to become a domestic goddess

Isn't it amazing how things in life go full circle? In the fifties, women were supposed to be these perfect little housewives. That was followed by women's lib and the whole 'burn the bra' movement, where women wanted equal rights with men. Hot on the heels of the braless free love era, came the woman executive era. This was where women embarked on huge careers, many became the breadwinner and many men became emasculated. Recently, women have decided to return to the homes. Careers are not as rewarding as being stay at home mothers. Who needs acute stress in their lives when you can lead a relatively stress-free existence at home, your only worry being what else you can do to make your family happy. The current poor job market has also resulted in many women being forced to stay at home, and maybe try their hands at making an online income.

Whatever the reason for a woman staying at home, they need to learn the ancient forgotten art of being a domestic goddess. Most of our mothers were early baby boomers, career-oriented and definitely not domestic goddesses. We can't learn from them as they spent their whole lives trying not to be domestic goddesses like their mothers before them. With no role-models available, women today wanting to be domestic goddesses have to start from scratch.

Qualities from four Greek goddesses and one Asian goddess are combined to create a modern domestic goddess, as a domestic goddess has to be an all-round performer in all aspects of the home. Being only one of them is not enough to qualify you as a domestic goddess.

A domestic goddess is a woman who keeps her home ordered, clean, uncluttered and tastefully decorated.  In addition, she is an ace in the kitchen, a brilliant baker, ingenius cook and exceptional entertainer.  As if this is not enough, a domestic goddess always looks beautiful and sexy.  She can work in the garden, put up shelves in the house, carry her partner's golf clubs, be a fabulous mother and a nymphomaniac vamp in the bedroom.  She understands and meets her partner's every need.  A domestic goddess is very knowledgable and can chat about many subjects which might interest her partner.  She encourages him to watch the footy on TV and play poker with his friends.  In return, a domestic goddess is admired and adored by her partner.  As she fulfils his every need, he has no desire whatsoever to stray. 

Penelope was a weaver and the most creative of all the Greek goddesses.  She was the wife of Odysseus and waited loyally and faithfully for over 20 years for him to return.

To develop the Penelope facet of the domestic goddess persona, you need to become loyal, faithful and loving.  You have to find your creativity and take up arts and crafts as you wait patiently at home for your partner to return.  If anything in the home needs fixing, you have to become handy with the hammer and repair it yourself.  Remember, you cannot put undue pressure on your adoring partner by nagging them to fix it.  Also, you have to always try and look sexy.  Old torn t-shirts splattered with paint and baggy trackpants are out.

The Penelope part of you loves browsing for bargains at flea markets, that you can take home and create something special out of it.  You experiment with color, new ideas and different crafts.  Your house is funky and warm and inviting.  You are generous and giving and a definite people-person with a large circle of friends whom you hang out with at coffee mornings while your partner is at work earning the moolah.

Kuan Yin is the Buddhist goddess of mercy, compassion and understanding.  She is often depicted as pouring the healing waters of life from a small vase.  In some Asian cultures, Kuan Yin is shown as an androgynous male, but for our purposes, she's a female.

To become like Kuan Yin, you have to be the shoulder for your partner to cry on.  You have to be his refuge he comes to when the going gets tough.  When you hear his car pull into the drive, you have to have his beer ready to pass him as he comes through the door.  Your first words must be, "Hello darling, how was your day?"  As you get him settled in front of the television with his ice-cold beer, remove his socks and shoes and wash his feet and give him a foot massage.  This will ease all his woes and help remove some of his stress from a hard day at work.

Remember Kuan Yin is the embodiment of loving compassionate kindness.  Don't upset your partner with tales of what went wrong in your day.  Rather, regale him with amusing anecdotes from your day to help him relax and lighten his mood.

Aphrodite was the Greek goddess of love.  Her two domains where she excelled was in the bedroom and surprisingly, the garden.

To develop the Aphrodite part  of your domestic goddess persona, you have to throw away your inhibitions and become a wild sexy pornstar nymphomaniac vamp in the bedroom.  Green fingers in the garden is a bonus as well.  Maybe, you can try and plant your own vegetables.  If you garden topless or in your bikini, you can work on your tan as well.  A tanned body always looks slimmer than a pasty white one.

Aphrodite was also a natural housekeeper and paid attention to the tiniest detail and never had clutter but instead had orderly cupboards.  To be like Aphrodite, you need to have scented candles throughout your house, little bowls of flower petals in the bathroom and scented aromatherapy oil burners in the bedroom.  Everywhere, one has to see that you are in the mood for love and romance.

Okay, in the myths Aphrodite wasn't very faithful, but if you intiate kinky dress-up sex games, then it'll be like you are having many different lovers.  Be inventive in the garden and in the bedroom.

Artemis was the Greek goddess of hunting, the wilderness and wild animals. She was also the goddess of childhood and proctectress of girls up until they got married.

To develop your Artemis facet of your domestic goddess persona, you need to become adept at multi-tasking, fetching kids from school, taking them to soccer practice, taking your partner's clothes to the dry-cleaner, baking, cooking and cleaning, as well as building an online business.

Low maintenance and easy to clean is your decorating style, with bright colors and rooms with plenty of sunlight. This is where you can bring out your unconventional side and develop your own unique tastes. Remember, you can multi-task in the bedroom as well, planning the next evening's meal or the weekend BBQ while succumbing to the orgasmic delights offered by your partner.

You can further develop your Artemis side, by making your partner and his friends delicious snacks while they watch the footy on TV.  Avoid dusting the TV set in the middle of the footy game though, as that attention to detail might not be welcomed by your partner.  Alternatively, you can cook up a great BBQ for them to enjoy when the game is over.

Hestia is the ultimate earth mother and is the Greek goddess of the hearth.  She was kind and nurturing, had really well-developed maternal instincts and was amazing at cooking and baking.  In Greek households of old, the living flame of Hestia burnt continuously and was never allowed to go out.  As towns and suburbs expanded, the fire was taken from the town's hearth to light the fires of the new subdivision.  Most people are unaware that the Olympic flame is an example of Hestia's living flame that has continued to modern times.  Hestia is often referred to as the 'forgotten' goddess and is now associated with hospitality.

The old adage, 'barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen' perfectly describes the Hestia facet of your domestic goddess persona.  As Hestia, your home will be your castle and your kitchen will be your throne room.  Your home will be comfortable and very livable, a veritable refuge for your hard-working partner.  As he returns home, he'll savour the aromas of simmering stews and other delights conjured up by you in the kitchen.

Hestia will mother the neighbours and the neighbour's children.  She'll go out of her way to make her partner's uninvited guests feel welcome in her home and will have no problems making her delicious meals stretch further if he forgets to tell her that he's bringing his mates home.

While the ideal domestic goddess is a combination of all the five goddesses mentioned above, the reality is that most of us are stronger in some areas and weaker in others.  We need to work hard to develop the areas we are weak in, so that we can be a dutiful and loving partner, that is highly valued by our hardworking spouses and envied by his friends.

We can become a Jill of all trades, handy with a hammer, an iron, a spade and a sexual animal in the bedroom.  We can serve our partner, making his happiness our mission, his pleasure our pleasure.  We can be his golf caddy and his best friend.  We are domestic goddesses, we can do it all.